


Whodunnit

by Xingshou



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie can be naive sometimes, It's basically Clue, Murder Mystery, Poor Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Hazbins, Valentino Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Vox Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Whodunnit, horror/comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xingshou/pseuds/Xingshou
Summary: Charlie's attempt at a charity gala for the hotel goes horribly wrong when a guest is mysteriously murdered! Now Alastor won't let anyone leave until they can figure out who the murderer is. Who would do such a thing?!
Comments: 17
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to distract myself from the election so I wrote this. It's gonna be short, just two chapters, you can expect the next one in the next couple of days. Enjoy!

“What the Hell is this?” 

Charlie looked up from her desk to see Angel dangling a heavy envelope with her family crest on it. She smiled. “Oh, it’s an invitation to the gala we’re having tonight.” Her face pulled into a small frown, “Where did you get that? I thought I sent them all out… did I miss one?” 

“Fuckin’ wish you did,” Angel said, flicking up the envelope to show it was empty, “Vox brought the invite with him to the studio. Why would you invite him?!” 

Charlie’s gaze flicked between Angel and the envelope, obviously unsure. “It was Alastor’s idea, actually. He thought if Vox didn’t get invited to the gala then he’d be offended and put out more negative news about the hotel all over the media channels. We’re stretched thin enough as it is right now, we can’t risk any negative press before the gala – we need people to open their wallets, not just come here to laugh at us.” 

Angel closed his eyes, letting out a breath, “Great, ChaCha, but the invite had a fuckin’ plus one.” 

“So?” 

“So that means Valentino’s comin’.” 

Charlie’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake. “Oh. Oh, Angel Dust, I am so sorry. I can – we can try to contact Vox and un-invite him, or tell him he can’t bring Valentino, or something?” 

“Nah,” Angel pulled back, slowly shaking his head. “Too late now, toots. Only a few hours left ‘til the thing, if ya try ta contact him now he’ll know somethin’s up and Val… well, just do me a favor and keep on ya toes, okay? Val ain’t stupid and he definitely ain’t comin’ here to open his wallet. Be careful.” 

“I am really sorry, Angel, I didn’t think – “ 

Charlie trailed off as a familiar burst of radio static interrupted them, Alastor pausing as he passed by the open door to Charlie’s office. “Is everything alright in here?” 

“Yeah, real fuckin’ peachy,” Angel said, wrapping his arms around himself. “I love lookin’ forward to a night of all you asshole Overlords hangin’ around havin’ pissin’ contests.” 

“I see,” Alastor blinked at him. “Well, good.” He hummed to himself as he strode away, leaving Angel to roll his eyes and turn back to Charlie. 

“S’fine, Princess, I’ll deal for tonight. I expect a pretty big apology tab at the bar tomorrow though, capiche?” 

Charlie couldn’t help but give him a little smile at that. “Fair enough. You got it.”

“Guess I better get my ass back upstairs then,” Angel said, glancing back at where Alastor had walked off, “Some of us like to actually bathe and put in an effort before a party.” 

Charlie grabbed one of his arms before he could step out the door, making him look back at her. “I’ll warn everyone about Valentino coming. I meant what you said about you being safe, here, Angel. I promise you will be.” 

Angel glanced down at her for a moment before shrugging, “Yeah, well, I can take care of myself, so… yeah. Thanks, though. Guess I’ll see ya on the dance floor later.” 

Charlie watched him go before picking up the empty envelope he’d left on her desk and frowning to herself before getting up and hurrying out, shutting the office door behind her. She had a lot to get ready, too. 

\---- 

The hotel lobby had been transformed. The once shabby and worn wallpaper was replaced with bright red and gold, a new plush wine colored carpet graced the floor, and a few strategically placed golden lamps cast a warm light onto the whole room, as well as lining the hallway down to the equally updated ballroom. 

“Hm, not bad, I guess,” Angel hummed as he made his way down the stairs a few hours later. “Lobby cleans up nice. I’m guessin’ a lot of this was Al?” 

Charlie turned from where she was putting the finishing touches on plates of hors d’oeuvres that she was balancing on Husk’s bar, her face lighting up. “Angel, you look amazing!” 

The spider was wearing a floor length, deep blue gown with a plunging neckline decorated with glittering stones. A similar glittering necklace wrapped around his throat, and blue gems shone in his hair. 

Angel normally preened at any compliments, but he seemed self-conscious this time, his fur raising a little in minor embarrassment as he twisted to look at himself. “You don’t think the blue clashes with the pink stripes?” 

“Not at all,” Charlie said decisively. “And look, we match!” She gestured to the darker, more tailored suit she was wearing for the evening, subtly decorated at the cuffs and collar with a deep blue color. 

“Nice, toots,” Angel said, giving her a small smile. She leaned forward conspiratorially. 

“People probably won’t start showing up for a few minutes. I won’t mind if you add a drink to your apology tab while I get the final details ready!” 

Angel huffed a small laugh to himself. “You’re a shinin’ light among these assholes, ChaCha. Don’t mind if I do.” He spun on his heel to march to the bar, his expression growing a little more sour as he noticed Alastor already sitting there. 

“Ah, the anticipation of a party before it happens,” Alastor said, raising his tumbler as the spider approached. “Strange feeling, but a good one, I’d say.” 

Angel pointedly ignored him, drumming his fingers on the bar top as he waited for Husk to notice him. The cat finally did, coming over, starting to work on the gin and tonic that Angel ordered. 

Alastor cocked his head at Angel, taking a sip from his drink. “Are you quite alright, Angel Dust? You’re so quiet, usually you’re quite loud –“ 

Angel spun to snarl at the Radio Demon. “I oughtta punch that smile o’ yours into next week, ya know that?” 

Alastor barely reacted at all, merely swirling his drink around in his glass. “Whatever for?” 

“Ya know damn well what ya were doin’, convincin’ Charlie to invite Vox like that.” 

“And what,” Alastor’s smile sharpened, “Was I doing?” 

Angel practically ripped the gin and tonic out of Husk’s hand as he set it down. “Like ya didn’t know he’d bring Val. Hopin’ for a big blow-up or a fight or somethin’ between us? Somethin’ for that _entertainment_ o’ yours?” 

Alastor turned away, watching the door for any potential guests, but he didn’t deny it. Instead, he said, “Have you ever considered that perhaps everything is not about you, my effeminate friend?” 

“Oh, bullshit, you –“ 

“Hey, drama queens, shut the fuck up,” Vaggie said from where she was standing by the door with Charlie. The dress she’d chosen for the occasion was deep green, just past the knees with white stitching around the bottom. Not her usual color, but it still seemed to suit her. She gestured out the open door to the driveway, where the first cars were pulling up. 

Angel glowered into his drink, wondering if he could somehow will himself to get plastered off of just one. 

Demons filed in slowly throughout the next hour, mostly top shelf Overlords that Angel hadn’t even met, just heard about through overhearing Val’s conversations. Charlie and Alastor seemed to know most of them, though, and were appearing to be doing quite well tag-teaming their hosting duties. 

“Now, what’s a gorgeous young man like you doing all by his lonesome over here, hm?” Angel glanced up, ready to make a smart remark to whoever had just said that, but his eyes lit up when he saw who stood there. “Stolas!” He leapt up, pulling the owl into a hug, “Fuck, it’s been a long time!” Angel looked around for something, obviously coming up short, “Didn’t bring the fam wit’ ya?” 

“No, sadly not,” Stolas said, “Via and her mother are visiting relatives this week.” 

“Bummer,” Angel said, “I been meaning to tell Via her Voxtagram’s been on point.” 

Stolas turned to the bar where Husk was watching them curiously, “I’ll have a cabernet if you have it, my good man.” While Husk dug out the wine glasses, Stolas returned his attention to Angel. “You have no idea how _lonely_ it’s been in that large house, all alone, just _dying_ for company…” 

Angel couldn’t help the smirk. “Ya know my services are always open for ya, feathas. I’ll even toss in a friends-an’-family discount – if ya toss the savin’s the hotel’s way.” 

“Ah, yes…” Stolas accepted the glass of wine Husk handed him, glancing around the hotel lobby curiously. “And how is the little experiment going?” 

Angel didn’t get a chance to answer as a familiar thumping bassline floated up the driveway, obviously being pumped out of a hot pink heart-covered limousine. Looked like Vox and Val had finally shown up, fashionably late of course. 

The moth and the Television Demon arrived at the door, jostling each other slightly as they silently fought to get in first. Vox conceded, stepping back a bit and letting Valentino step in first before following. 

“Hi! Welcome to the Happy Hotel’s meet and greet gala,” Charlie said enthusiastically. “Would you like to sign up for the raffle?” 

“Why, what’s the prize?” Vox asked, “A stay in one of your shitty little hotel rooms?” 

“We have a lot of different things!” Charlie persisted, shuffling through some papers in her hands to give Vox the rundown of the apparent smorgasbord of prizes they had.   
Angel turned from Stolas, wondering if he could slip away into the crowd before Val noticed him standing at the bar, but no dice – the moth, clearly bored of standing near Vox while Charlie rambled on, spotted him and made a beeline over. 

“Already getting wasted, Angie? Better be careful – you know you can be such a messy drunk.” 

Angel made a non-commital noise, missing Charlie nodding her head slightly towards Vaggie, then towards him, the fiery moth starting to make her way over. 

“Where’s your manners, Angel Cakes?” Val questioned, “You know you’re supposed to offer to take people’s coats, right?” 

“Angel Dust is a guest and a patron here at the hotel,” Vaggie said, stepping up next to Angel. “And at the party. He’s not the coat check guy - you can leave that coat of yours here at the bar, with Husk.” 

Valentino raised an eyebrow at her, but didn’t bother to shrug off his coat. “You’re kinda cute, sweet-cheeks. In a… angry librarian goes over the top sort of way. Ever thought of doin’ porn? Can you moan in an accent?” 

With a stream of angered Spanish, Vaggie’ spear was pointing in Valentino’s face. The moth simply chuckled. “Oooh. I’m _scared_.” 

“Hey!” Behind them, Husk clicked his claws together to get their attention, “Charlie said no weapons, Vags.” 

“But –“ 

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” Husk held out a paw expectantly, and Vaggie grumbled, but placed her spear into Husk’s hands. He turned and placed it behind the liquor cage before raising an eyebrow at Valentino, “And you, either order somethin’ or get the fuck outta my bar.” 

“Rude,” Val said casually, “Wouldn’t want to tell Voxxy you all messed up my fun time by bein’ dicks, he might plaster some real bad shit about this crummy little dump all over his socials.” He tapped two knuckles on the bar, “Whiskey, neat.” 

Husk silently placed it on the bar, and Val took it, swirling it around before glancing down at Angel, who was doing his best to search for some kind of escape route. 

“Don’t ya wanna show Daddy around, baby?” 

“You don’t have to –“ Vaggie started, but Angel shook his head, batting his eyelashes and plastering on a smile. 

“S’fine. ‘Course, Val, I’ll show ya ‘round. Might as well see the place where I’ve been stayin’, right? C’mon…” 

Vaggie frowned as Angel led the pimp away, returning to Charlie’s side as the princess sent Vox off to mingle with an armful of literature that he was sure to dump in a garbage can the minute he got the chance. 

“I don’t like it.” 

“Don’t like what?” Charlie turned to Vaggie, cocking her head. 

“Those two, being here,” Vaggie shook her head, “Is it really that important that they feel included? You know they won’t contribute anything, hun. And that look on Valentino… I should’ve stabbed him in the face when I had the chance.” 

“Vaggie!” 

“Threatening violence already, I hadn’t realized it was that sort of party,” Alastor said, seeming to materialize next to the girls, his usual wide smile in place. 

“Oh, fuck off, you knew very well what you were doing, shitlord,” Vaggie said. 

Alastor didn’t seem to be listening, his gaze fixed on Vox instead, who was wandering through the clumps of demons, looking around. 

“Excuse me, ladies.” 

He disappeared, reappearing nearby Vox. “Your plus-one seems to have disappeared. How embarrassing that he found your company so tedious after ten minutes.” 

Vox didn’t react right away, making a show of sipping at a glass of champagne before answering. “Val can do what he wants. I don’t have to keep shadowy tabs on people at all times, unlike some people.” He looked around the room with distaste, “I suppose I should thank you for the invite.” 

“Considering this is meant to be a charitable event, I felt it would be only fair to invite you,” Alastor said, grinning wider as Vox obviously tried to figure out if that was an insult or not. 

“Right, yeah, charity.” Vox vaguely gestured around with his champagne glass, “If you were smart you shoulda made it a per-plate to get in thing,” he said, “Nobody’s gonna dig deep when they see this dump. D’you even have any other patrons besides that slut, yet?” 

“Several of Angel Dust’s fans have contributed very generous amounts already,” Alastor said, making a point to turn and incline his head toward Stolas across the room, who seemed confused but inclined his head back. “But I understand some of your ventures have not been so successful lately. That’s why there’s no minimum donation for entry tonight – I wanted to be sure you would still be able to enter.” 

The lights flickered around them momentarily as Vox frowned in irritation, Alastor cocking his head in mock-curiosity, “Are you quite alright?” 

Vox didn’t appear to be listening anymore, his electronic gaze flicking to the other side of the room where Angel was leading Val back in. “Aaaaan’ here we are back in the lobby, boss. Hope ya enjoyed Angel Dust’s tour service.” 

Alastor didn’t miss how Vox’s fist clenched and the lights flickered again as Val’s hand slid down Angel’s back, or how Angel pulled himself away under the guise of rearranging his dress. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of the party,” Alastor said, “I hope you find it… enlightening.” 

Leaning on the bar, Angel couldn’t help the look of relief as Charlie made her way over to them, causing Val to put a few more feet of distance between them. He knew Val wouldn’t try anything with the Princess of Hell plus the Radio Demon keeping watch. 

“Hey. Kid.” Angel turned to look at Husk, who was trying to lift a large jar out of a box behind the bar, “This is fuckin’ heavy, mind helping?” 

Angel nodded, coming around behind the bar. As soon as he was squatted down on the floor, Husk frowned at him. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Angel blinked, confused. “…Why?” 

“Because that,” Husk gestured to the plunged neckline of Angel’s dress, “Wasn’t torn before.” 

Angel’s fur rose a little bit as he looked down. The tear was tiny – he was surprised Husk had noticed it at all. “S’fine, Husky, wardrobe malfunction and all that. That’s all.”   
Husk raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him for one second. “Sure?” 

“I said it’s fine, didn’t I?” Angel wrapped his arms around himself, and Husk shrugged, lifting the jar without any problem. 

“Suit yourself.” 

“---Can see him any time you want, you’re supposed to be here with me tonight, asshole!” Vox’s voice floated across the crowd, and Angel got up on his knees to peek over the bar. 

“Oh, great.” 

Husk joined him in peering over. “What?” 

“Guess Al’s gonna get what he wanted after all,” Angel sighed as Vox squared up to a bored-looking Valentino. “Overlord fight. And they say I’m a drama queen.” 

“Don’t make a scene, Vox, you’re gettin’ on my nerves,” Valentino rolled his eyes. 

Stolas strolled by, a plate of food in one hand, clearly unable to miss the chance to make a comment, “Trouble in paradise?” 

“None of your business, bird-brain.” 

“At least I have a brain,” Stolas shot back, “What do you have rattling around up there, rock-shaped dildos?” 

“You wish.” 

“That doesn’t even make sense. Thus, proving my theory correct.” 

“Stolas,” Charlie came up to them, Vaggie and Alastor following behind, putting a hand on the bird’s arm, “Is everything alright?” 

“Perfectly fine, Princess, although I do have to wonder about the amount of trash you’re letting in here,” Stolas said, shooting a glare at Valentino. 

“Sticks and stones, baby,” Val smirked. 

Vox folded his arms. “This party’s played out. Let’s get outta here.” 

Valentino shrugged, “I don’t want to.” 

“What –“ Vox spluttered, “Val! We’re supposed to be here together, remember? I didn’t say anything when you went off with Angel earlier but you can dick him down whenever you want, it doesn’t have to be right now!” Vox’s voice had raised to a higher volume, ringing clearly through the lobby. 

There was a short, awkward silence as many faces turned to Angel Dust, who was still standing behind the bar, looking like a deer in headlights, biting his lip. 

Charlie’s friendly-but-strained smile fell, dropping into a scowl instead. “Valentino. Vox. It has been lovely having you at the Happy Hotel tonight, but maybe it would be best if you left –“ 

“Make us,” Vox shot back at her, and Val rolled his eyes. 

“You just said you wanted to leave.” 

“Well, now I don’t want to,” Vox said, petulantly folding his arms. 

“Yes, please do stay,” Alastor spoke up, tapping his microphone idly in his hand, turning to Charlie. “You see, I told you this would be far less expensive than hiring professional entertainment.” 

Vox growled, spinning to face Alastor, the lights around them starting to flicker again. “Did you just fuckin’ invite me here to make fun of me?” 

“My dear Vox,” Alastor said, “What other reason could I have possibly had?” 

Alastor cackled as Vox lunged for him – there were a few shrieks as the lights around them began to explode one by one, showering the floor with glass and sparks, plunging the hotel into total darkness. 

There was shouting and scuffling as demons bumped into each other, trying to feel their way to the exits, grunting and just general noise of confusion. 

“Nobody panic!” Vaggie’s voice rang out over the confusion, “Everyone stay where you are, don’t move – we’ll have the lights on in just a moment!” 

It took a good ten minutes, but finally, someone located the breaker and flipped the switch to the hotel’s usual lighting instead of the fancy lamps, illuminating the lobby once more. 

Someone let out a shriek, and demons began to panic again as they saw what lay in the middle of the floor – 

Valentino, flat on his back, Vaggie’s angelic spear sticking straight out of his chest, dark blood leaking onto the carpet.

Demons began to race for the exits, falling back as the doors and windows were suddenly locked down by some very familiar looking black shadowy tentacles. 

“How exciting, a murder,” Alastor grinned, “Now, I believe standard procedure is to not let anyone leave until we get to the bottom of who could’ve possibly done this.” 

Vox pointed at Vaggie, “It’s that fucking bitch’s spear! I saw her point it at Val earlier, it was her! I’ll kill you, you fucking –“ 

Charlie stepped in front of Vaggie, her eyes blazing and horns growing out of her head for a second, the image disturbing enough to make Vox take a step back. She pulled back into her normal form, turning to her girlfriend. “Vaggie?” 

Vaggie shook her head vehemently, “It wasn’t me, hun. I didn’t even have my spear, it was behind the bar.” 

“Bullshit,” Vox started, shutting up when Alastor shoved him aside. 

“Now, now,” Alastor said, “Let us be honest with ourselves, everyone in this room had a rather good reason to want this deplorable insect dead. The only thing to do now is to try and discover who, in fact, it was. Unless, of course, anyone would like to come forward?” 

The party-goers looked at each other, but nobody said a word. Alastor’s smirk grew wider, if that was even possible. 

“Excellent. Then it looks as though this evening is going to be _very_ entertaining.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nervous murmuring rippled around the room as party-goers looked at each other suspiciously. Though there seemed to be a silent, unspoken consensus that nobody was particularly upset about Valentino’s demise, nobody wanted to be accused of attacking an Overlord, especially when there were already so many of the other Overlords in the room. 

“Alastor,” Charlie approached the Radio Demon, “I know you want to figure this out, but… maybe it might be better if we just… call tonight off and send everyone home.” 

“Oh, no, certainly not, my dear,” Alastor said, making no move to release the tendrils from around the doors and windows of the lobby, “Even if the victim was the lowest base common denominator, we mustn’t allow any of these wayward demons to believe that this sort of behavior is allowable under the roof of the hotel. What would that say for your cause, hm?” 

“I… I guess…” Charlie backed off, biting her lip. 

Vaggie tapped her foot impatiently, crossing her arms. “So how do we start, Mr. Know-It-All? The sooner we figure it out, the sooner we can call it a night.” 

“Start with the most obvious suspects, of course,” Alastor said easily. 

“Well that’s easy,” Vox muttered, folding his own arms over his chest, “If it wasn’t the Princess’s bitch, it was obviously Angel Dust.” 

“What?!” Angel snarled from where he still stood behind the bar, “Excuse you, ya channel-changin’ asshole, if I was gonna do it I wouldn’t do it in front a’ room fulla people, even if it was dark! I ain’t a moron!” 

“Oh yeah?” Vox’s electronic eyebrow raised, and he glanced over at Alastor. “If you’re gonna insist on doing this wannabe Poirot bullshit, you might wanna check Val’s arm.”   
Alastor cocked his head, turning to approach the prone body on the floor. 

“Careful, Alastor,” Stolas muttered over his wine glass, “You wouldn’t want to catch a disease.” 

Using the end of his microphone staff, Alastor pushed the sleeve of Val’s garish coat up. “Well well well… now, that is interesting…” 

The deceased pimp’s arm was marred with six raised, discolored welts, a dark pink fluid leaking from one of them. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say those were teeth marks,” Alastor said, “And… venom?” 

“And which one of us has fucking venomous teeth?” Vox spat, “Oh right. Angel Dust. It was him, you’re welcome.” 

“No it fuckin’ wasn’t!” Angel said, a more desperate edge crawling into his tone as he made eye contact with Charlie, “Okay, fine, maybe I – I did bite him, but… I swear, Charlie, I wouldn’t hurt anyone in the hotel, I promise! Even if it was Val…” 

“I believe you, Angel,” Charlie said, and Vox rolled his eyes. 

“Oh, come on! The slut’s a crazy bitch, he probably bit Val to poison him and disorient him so he could get away with stabbing him, why else would he bother biting him?” Vox demanded. 

“You fuckin’ know why,” Angel said through gritted teeth. 

“Angel didn’t do it,” Husk spoke up gruffly, his ears twitching when everyone’s gaze turned to him. 

“Oh?” Alastor tapped his microphone in his hand, “And what makes you think that, Husker?” 

“I don’t think it, I know it,” Husk grumbled, folding his arms. “First of all, look at those damn shoes of his. They’re loud as fuck, you really think nobody would hear him walkin’ back and forth to that asshole? Also – I know he didn’t leave the bar ‘cause I could hear him breathin’ right here the whole time the lights were out. He didn’t move.” 

“That’s a good point!” Charlie said enthusiastically, “We would’ve heard Angel’s shoes if he moved, and we didn’t!” 

“But we don’t know that you didn’t move, Husker,” Alastor cocked his head, smiling creepily at the bartender, “And of course, the spear was behind your bar. And you are… uniquely able to move about rather silently,” he said, pointing towards Husk’s paws. 

“The fuck?” Husk growled, “You’re accusin’ me now?!” 

“Come now, nobody would blame you if you did decide to dispose of the wretched insect,” Alastor said. “I would have preferred something a bit more elegant, but –“ 

“I didn’t fuckin’ stab the asshole,” Husk said, “Not that it wouldn’t have felt great, but I was busy with… somethin’ else.” 

“Busy?!” Vox scoffed, “Yeah, right – lamest excuse I ever heard. If it wasn’t Angel, it probably was you – the spear was right next to you, I saw it.” 

“Fuck off, ya glorified toaster,” Husk said, “I ain’t a fuckin’ liar, and I was right behind the bar the whole time.” 

“You expect us to believe that –“ 

“He was,” Angel said softly, glancing up. “He was busy ‘cause a’ me… I was… sorta… panickin’. He was helpin’ me. That’s how come he heard me breathin’ the whole time. So… yeah…” 

Vox let out an obnoxious laugh, “Panicking? What about? Surely you’re not afraid of the dark?” 

Angel Dust growled, attempting to clamber over the bar to launch himself at Vox, only to be held back by Husk, “Shut the fuck up ya –“ 

“Hey!” Vaggie squared up to Vox, her arms folded, her face unimpressed. “You seem awfully quick to accuse everyone else, don’t you think? How do we know it wasn’t you?” 

Vox rolled his eyes. “Tch. Why would I? Val and I were dating.” 

“This is Hell, asshole, that never stopped anyone before.” 

“Plus everyone knows ‘dating’ is a strong word for whatever you two were doing,” Stolas said easily, ignoring the growl he got from Vox. 

“Yeah!” Angel, clearly still heated up from Vox’s comments, jumped on the bandwagon, “Plus everyone knows you an’ Val fought all the time, ya were fightin’ right before the lights went out! Maybe ya saw an opportunity to finally get rid a’ him and ya took it – prolly left his territory to ya if somethin’ bad ever happened to him, right?” 

Vox’s eyes flashed dangerously, and he seemed to grow a few inches in height as he loomed over the spider, his electronic voice crackling as he spoke, causing Angel to shrink back. “Be very careful about what you say next, Angel Dust.” 

“Whoa! Okay,” Charlie chuckled nervously, ducking in between the two, gently resting a hand on Vox’s chest to push him a few inches back, away from Angel, “I think things are getting a liiiitle bit out of hand here, right? It’s, um… unfortunate… what happened to Valentino, but Alastor, are you sure you don’t want to just let everyone go home? I don’t think we’re going to get a confession from anyone tonight.” 

“Just when things are getting interesting?” Alastor smiled dangerously, “I don’t think so.” 

Charlie bit her lip, returning to Vaggie’s side, relaxing a little when her girlfriend put an arm around her. “Then… what next?” 

“A good torture session usually does wonders to loosen tongues,” Alastor said, and Charlie groaned. 

“No! No torture under this roof, Alastor. Actually… even when you’re not under this roof, try not to torture anyone.” 

“No promises.” Alastor spun his microphone idly, “Well then, we’ll have to resort to more… remedial measures. If Angel Dust and Husker are to be believed and they truly did not leave the bar during those ten minutes, then they can be excepted as suspects. Of course….” He raised an eyebrow at Vox, “We do only have your word that it wasn’t you. After all, you did cause the blackout.” 

“Well it wasn’t,” Vox said, folding his arms childishly. “And you should know it wasn’t, considering I was throwing hands with you at the time, which is what caused the blackout in the first place.” 

“Hm… yes,” Alastor admitted, “I suppose I will have to concede that point to you.” 

“Damn right.” 

“Don’t push it.” 

“Not to be the turd in the punchbowl or to step on your fun, Alastor,” Stolas said, strolling over to the bar and lifting a small plate of snacks, starting to crunch on one, “But I believe there’s a very simple and obvious way to solve this.” 

“And what might that be, my feathered friend?” 

“If I’m not mistaken,” Stolas turned to Vox, “Don’t you normally automatically record everything? I’m quite sure I’ve been subjected to some… unpleasant live-streams on your social channels before.” 

Charlie turned to Vox, eyes wide, “Do you?” 

“What’s it to ya?” Vox sneered. 

“But – but it was dark,” Charlie said, “Right? So – so even if you were recording, we wouldn’t be able to see anything…” 

“It’s got infrared,” Angel muttered, “Believe me, I know.” 

Charlie bit her lip, “I see…” 

“You fucks are crazy if you think I’m gonna help you out,” Vox said. “Just do what the princess says and let’s call it quits. I don’t give a fuck anymore.” 

Vaggie narrowed her eyes at him, ripping her spear out of the deceased Valentino’s chest and pointing it at him, “That sounds like something someone guilty would say.” 

“Although I understand the thrill of getting an answer, I’m not sure anyone particularly minds that Valentino’s been murdered,” Stolas pointed out. “So does it truly matter who is guilty?” 

“That’s a good point, Stolas!” Charlie said. She took a deep breath, “This isn’t exactly how I wanted the evening to turn out, but, ah… thank you, everyone, for coming anyway… and Alastor, as your princess, I command you to release the doors and windows and let everyone go home.” 

Alastor hesitated, and Charlie narrowed her eyes. It was tense for a good minute before the Radio Demon shrugged and snapped his fingers, the shadowy tendrils disappearing. “If you wish, my dear, but I still believe we are setting a bad example.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Charlie sighed, walking to the door to see her guests out, biting her lip as Vox gave her the finger as he flounced out the door, “So much for avoiding bad media…” 

Stolas wrapped her hand warmly in his as he headed out, “I’m afraid I can’t do much if Vox retaliates media-wise, but I would like you to know this is quite possibly the best gala I’ve ever been to. Can’t beat Valentino dead on the floor.” 

“Oh, um… thank… you?” Charlie said as Stolas turned to wave goodbye to Angel before heading back down to the car that was waiting for him. 

As soon as the last guest had filed out, Charlie shut the door and slid down against it. “Ugh.” 

“I’ll just get rid of this garbage, shall I?” Alastor said, snapping his fingers so Valentino’s body disappeared. 

“Should we be worried about where that went, Smiles?” Angel frowned. 

“That is none of your business, Angel Dust.” 

Husk shrugged, starting to clean up his bar. “Wonder who had the balls to actually do it. Kinda wish it was me, honestly.” 

Charlie groaned and dropped her head into her knees. Vaggie stroked her hair, “It’s okay, hun, nobody will care that rat died, even if he was an Overlord.” 

“That’s not it, Vaggie…” 

Angel blinked as his phone pinged, pulling it out. His eyes widened. “Uh, ChaCha? Vox is doin’ a live-stream…” 

Charlie rocketed to her feet, yanking Angel’s phone out of his hands to look at it. The rest of the hotel residents gathered around her curiously. 

“So, you think that little princess is all sweetness and rainbows eh?” Vox was saying, “Well sorry to break it to you, but this is the kinda shit that’s going on at that supposed ‘redemption’ hotel of hers.” 

The footage switched over to grainy infrared footage, clearly recorded by Vox himself during the chaos. 

The video was shaky as Vox himself was fighting with Alastor, but in the background it was clear – Charlie, her hair fanned around her horns in a blonde halo, her eyes blazing red, ducking through the chaos to yank the spear from where Husk had put it beside the liquor cage. The video shifted as Vox clearly dodged a hit from Alastor, giving them a clear view of the princess burying the spear straight into Valentino’s chest. 

Vox’s face reappeared in the stream. “I don’t think I need to say anything more.” 

The stream cut out, and there was total silence as everyone stared at Charlie, who was quickly turning red. Even Alastor seemed vaguely shocked. 

Vaggie was the first to break the silence. “Charlie?!” 

Charlie rubbed at her arms, “Well – I… um… it’s just, he wasn’t really invited and he was being such a dick to Angel and when the lights went out I just… kinda… I think I lost control a little bit.” 

Vaggie was still staring at her girlfriend, shocked, “But – but you – but it seemed like you didn’t know who did it! You asked me if – but – why didn’t you say anything?!” 

Charlie shrugged with a small smile, “I told you I had impeccable improv skills.” 

“Well!” Alastor actually seemed impressed, “That certainly solves the problem of deciding whether we need to warn the culprit or not… I must commend you, my dear, well played!” 

“But what about Vox?” Charlie bit her lip. 

“I’ll deal with that electronic monstrosity, don’t worry about that,” Alastor said. 

“Christ on a cracker, ChaCha,” Angel was staring at her, “I didn’t think ya had it in ya! An’ y’know, I think maybe ol’ Voxxy just shot himself in the foot there… I wouldn’t be surprised if more demons wanted to join up now they know ya stuck a damn spear in Val’s chest!” He shook his head, his expression softening as he used all four arms to pull Charlie into a hug. “Thank you.” 

Charlie patted his arm. “Don’t mention it. Please. Actually, seriously, please don’t.” 

Angel laughed a little, “Okay, okay, fine. How ‘bouts a hot chocolate then? I know Nifty’s got some in the kitchen – we can all hang out a li’l longer.” 

“That sounds good,” Charlie smiled, pulling away and looping her arm through Vaggie’s. 

Angel led the way out of the lobby. “I gotta say though, Charlie, that footage of ya stabbin’ him is kinda hot….” 

“Angel!” 

Angel Dust cackled as the kitchen door swung shut behind the little group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it was Charlie the whole time! Don't mess with the princess of Hell's friends!   
> And yes I did plan for it to be her the whole time, I swear I wasn't pulling some J.J. Abrams shit on ya :P Only one person guessed her! Although I was wildly amused by whoever guessed Niffty because the idea of tiny Niffty climbing up 15-foot Valentino to stab him in the chest is hilarious. Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this silly thing!


End file.
